emotyness

Well, this 2 weeks holiday for me is
just like empty.
Besides working, i couldn't find something
to fill my heart.
The emptyness of my heart...
My mood is unhappy,
something is missing....
i realise...
People always asked me,
Do u have a boyfriend?
well, is that important?
what is the purpose of having a bf?
Sometimes, i always asking myself,
did i really need a bf,
indeed, my heart was still on someone.
and i trying to forget,
but i couldn't....even a single day.
i know, people will say i am stupid,
not worth it to do this,
not because of the reason of worthyness,
but i have choosen to love.
Love can be good and bad.
Once you have drop into the love trap,
you can't even escape it...

sad.

Sad....feeling really hurt......
the inner of my heart was tired and hurt..
i have no idea whats wrong with you.
You have been ignoring me for so long,
but i miss you alot....
my heart cant stop me from missing you.
Are you trying to escape from me?
If the answer is yes,
do to tell me,
and i wont disturb u again...
because i wont let my tears to drop again.
because of u....
again....
is because of u...

holiday.....

Holiday?
Well, for me, holiday is working...
tiring...but wat to do...
i have to earn money to spend..hehe
I love my work the best is when i can
talk with the customers,
guide them to the nice place in kemaman,
which food is good, which place is nice..
i am just like a tourist guide...
such a wonderful feeling..
When i feel bored,
i can go for swimming, enjoying myself.
with a sparkling juice beside the pool,
that could be perfect..
Love it...


During this week, i am working ....
Work , work and work....
Tired....i feel really tired...
But thank God, i met xiu qi and wen xi(singaporean)
I become their kemaman guider,
bringing them to taste the haipeng coffee,
the ai mei jie curry mee...
they loved kemaman fish and keropok so much.
I hope they will like it...
wen xi is a general doctor in singapore,
she own 2 son, tang jie and tang kai,
they are so adorable,
while xiu qi is a graduate student.
They brought me 2 books from singapore,
hope i can finish it within this holiday.
I loved my holiday....


But the worse things when i worked was ...
facing a LC malay girl,
i hate her character,
she is so fake until i realise her truth .
At first, i was regret because i treating her so good,
bluetooth new song for her,
but what she responding is?
Betraying?
Being so rude?
What the...
i hate malay....especially....lazy malay...
Working, working la,
why still texting message while many customer .
Lazy like a pig man...hate it....

Goodbye my babe...my baby car..

I had already spend a month with my babe,
every morning, i will drive him to a walk,
Many places i had been with my babe,
from the beach to the shore,
from the school to home,
from the store to kemaman station.
Yet, i couldn't let him go,
as he could bring me to any places that i want.
I want him back, but my dad force me to let him go.
Oh...my babe...thank you for training up my driving skill,
i could say that, my driving skill is improving tremendously.
Good bye my babe, i will miss u....my lovely car...

muet muet muet...

Before the day of the exam,
i couldn't sleep for the whole night.
Why my brain always wanna to torture me?
make me nervous and freezee....
Luckily, i didn't feel tired the next day.
I am able to answer all the exam questionS,
listening, reading, and writting skill ,
all settled.
Now, just left speaking skill.
Hopefully, i can overcome my nervousness,
and control my heart beat..beepboop beepboop.STOP

Train more and needed to sharpen my speaking skill.
Yes..i can do it.. ^^

LIBRARY( the place where we met)

Every moment, every memory will just stop at this place.

Our loves had begin in this place.
The first encounter with you,
in this place.
Listen carefully to all your teaching,
in this place.
When you hold my hand,
i had surrender all my life to you.
No matter what things had happened,
my love to you will never fade,
until the every end.

1st time drive alone..

My dad finally put down his worriedness
and let me drove his car.
This is the first time i drive and fetch my friend.
Hui ling and i, we went to jalan jalan
and went to the beach.
I was excited..and nervous.
Hopefully my driving skill will improve.
Everytime, i will pray before i drive.
Happy >.<

Feelings and faitfullness

The Lord is merciful, faithful and righteous.
Yea, thats true.
Well, compare with man,
God is loyal and faithful.
And his love feeling will never change
and remains faithful.
Although we sometimes falter in our faith
and question God's love for us,
He remains faithful.
Even when we doubt His promises,
or don't feel close to Him, or choose to sin,
His faithfulness still "reaches to the clouds.
(Psalm 36:5)


By reading "Our Daily Bread",
1 things i learned today,
man can lose their feel to someone
in just by 3 days,
even they had spend plenty of times together.
and, man's faith wont last long..
Thats true....


Whenever i feel empty, sad and fear,
this verse had make me feel secure.
(In those times when you don't feel close to God,
remind yourself that His feelings for you haven't changed.
It's not a matter of how you feel at the moment,
but the fact of the rock-solid faithfulness of God.)




Our God is GOd-He does not change;
His truth and love remain the same.
He's faithful to His matchless name,
FOr God is God-He does not change.




Trusting God's faithfulness,
dispels our fearfulness.

Killing heel

My dream to have my own high heel,
finally, i able to got it.
I love it so much.
From NOse company,
damn expensive.
Well, i name it as
"killing heel"
Because, it was sexy yet elegance.

Guys

Are guys important?

WHen they need you, they will use various type of method to get u,

when they dun ned you, they will juz dump u..

Although for so long, i still cant forget about a guy,

my mind was kept thinking of him.

I feel tortured yet tedious.

May be i put too much effort into this relationship?

or i too loves him?

My life......turning upside down....

How they can be so cruel?

without sympathy or sophisticated?

I feel that, i wont started a new relationship with any guy,

unless i am totally forgot about him...

my mind...oh my mind....why still keep thinking about him?

he had done so cruel things to you, why u still keep thinking bout him?

May be i am not the right person for him,

or he still loves someone?

arrrrg......why i so care about that?

is none my business now.....

I should let him go, i should let him free....

but i cant, why why.....

and now....i need you , and i will never let you go....until the very end.